After reading that sex ed article Aimee reblogged earlier, I was inspired to make this! I know I know that someone will call me on my terminology here, but if you can forgive the use of ‘lady,’ instead of ‘vulva,’ maybe you will enjoy it?
DON’T HATE YER PARTS! SEX EDUCATION IS POWER! LOVE YOUR SWEET, SWEET BODY! etc.
Source: kateordie
A recent Boise State University study of 484 heterosexual women showed that “50% of the women had fantasies about other women that involved some kind of sexual experience”. Does this mean they’re bisexual? Lesbian? Bicurious? Who knows and, to a degree, who cares? We don’t need to label every thought that comes into our minds, unless doing so helps us in some way. I’d imagine that there are plenty of heterosexual men who’ve entertained a homoerotic fantasy at some point, but are reluctant to admit that for fear that doing so would “make” them gay. The same goes for sadomasochism and dominance and submission. Plenty of people get off to BDSM scenarios they wouldn’t necessarily want to try, yet too many are ashamed of these fantasies and don’t even fully admit them for fear of being seen as somehow deviant, when the fact is that eroticising power, helplessness and pain are extremely common.
Attraction and action are two distinct things. Sometimes they are one and the same, and visualising yourself in a given sexual situation will lead to wanting to pursue it, but not always. We need to put a higher value on the act of fantasising and recognise that it can help revive a relationship or be a tool in figuring out what arouses us. Maybe you fantasise about being with someone other than your longterm partner, or watching them with someone, or having sex in an exotic location, or being watched, or something that couldn’t ever happen in real life. Allowing yourself the freedom to simply explore what turns you on, sans judgment, is important.
(via sexisnottheenemy)
Source: Guardian
Queer people do not need to offer excuses or defend their own existence. If one could become queer by simply waking up one morning and deciding to become queer, for a day, for an hour, it wouldn’t change the fact that being queer is just as good, as valid, as worthy, as being straight. Providing straight people with reasons or excuses for our queerness simply confirms their suspicions that our sexuality really is their business and that we need to justify our existence to them. This allows heterosexists to continue to believe there is something superior about heterosexuality, and that being queer is a deviation from some kind of normal or default sexuality. There isn’t and it’s not.
We don’t need to justify ourselves to anyone. We don’t need a reason to be queer. Maybe we were born this way, maybe we weren’t. Maybe sexuality is fluid for some people and not for others. It’s totally irrelevant either way. The message we need to send to heterosexists is not that our sexuality was foisted upon us and that they should be “tolerant” and “understanding”. The message is: our sexuality is perfectly valid and none of your business, we offer you no excuses, and we are never going away.
If you’re gonna have pizza with someone else, what do you have to do? You gotta talk about what you want. Even if you’re going to have the same pizza you always have, you say, ‘We getting the usual?’ Just a check in. And square, round, thick, thin, stuffed crust, pepperoni, stromboli, pineapple — none of those are wrong; variety in the pizza model doesn’t come with judgment. So ideally when the pizza arrives, it smells good, looks good, it’s mouthwatering. Wouldn’t it be great if we had that kind of anticipation before sexual activity, if it stimulated all our senses, not just our genitals but this whole-body experience. And what’s the goal of eating pizza? To be full, to be satisfied. That might be different for different people; it might be different for you on different occasions. Nobody’s like ‘You failed, you didn’t eat the whole pizza.’
NY Times: Teaching Good Sex (via ffolkthepainaway)
okay best metaphor
(via leraje)
I first came across this metaphor via Heather Corinna of Scarleteen—loved it then, love it now.
(via myriadrainbows)
I read the whole article, and this is a great metaphor except for the part where he kinda endorses the dieting industry in the article (suggesting “dieting” e.g. not eating pizza as the metaphorical equivalent of sexual abstinence). Also he lists transgender as a sexual orientation, so. But other than that, pretty legit teaching approach, pretty legit metaphor.
(via maishaparadox)
I might use this. It makes sense and I can see kids getting the idea.
(via asofiacoppoladream)
(via rubdown)
Source: folkthepainaway
If I love someone and want to be with them but don’t want to have sex with them, or not as often as they’d like, I wouldn’t see a problem with her having sex with another man, I wouldn’t feel threatened by that. It’s just sex. I would want my partner to get her needs met. Isn’t that love?
Of course, that isn’t love. Love is much more complicated than that. Love will not be defined as one thing. You get to come with your own definition of love. When someone says, “I want someone to love me for who I am,” I always think, You don’t know who you are. What they mean is they want to be loved for something inside of them, or an idealized version of themselves, as if their looks had nothing to do with who they really are, or their money, or their upbringing, or their car, or how they decorate their apartment. It’s all you.
Translation:
Sex is allowed in the park.
But show consideration!
A lot of childrens institutions use the park.
Therefore avoid:
Sex in the playground and visible places between 9.00-16.00
Hidden loud sex between 9.00-16.00.
Remember:
Remove sperm etc from the bench after the act.
Throw your used condoms and napkins in the trash.
The municipality of Copenhagen encourages everyone to practice safe sex.
Enjoy.
(via riotsnotdiets)
Source: bellyrumblings
The whole reality-fantasy line gets blurred when it comes to pornography, which is part of why debates about it are so contentious; these are scenarios brought to life by real people. Underneath all the arguments about the industry and objectification, exploitation and cultural influence, though, there is often a fundamental disagreement with the fact that these acted-out fantasies exist in the first place. That sort of resistance to reality — and to the distinction between fact and imagination — deserves conquering; and sex will be better for it, whether you’re partnered or alone.
